Solving a Rubiks cube
Over the weekend I attempted to learn how to solve a Rubik’s cube. Previously my only experience with them was when I was younger and got so frustrated with it that I attempted to peel off the coloured stickers and put them in the right place. Unfortunately, there are no longer stickers and I now know that this makes it harder. In the past I always thought it was one of those things that you either could or couldn’t do, and I was firmly in the later category. In part this is because I don’t have a great working memory, so trying to project forward and hold all the possibilities in my head is hard for me. In everyday life I’ve learnt lots of strategies to help my brain overcome this but writing down all my attempts seemed a bit excessive.
I often talk to who have a similar approach to looking after their wellbeing as I had to solving the Rubik’s cube. They feel it’s something they should just be able to do and presume that there is something wrong with them if they struggle to follow the endless lists of advice they see online. What they don’t always do is recognise how the different ways our brains work and the different resources we have can make such a difference. Now that I’ve got a better understanding of how I process information, I choose to get support to complete the puzzle by looking at some online tutorials which worked with my brain’s strengths, got support with the areas it struggled and turned what would have felt like a hopeless task into something achievable.
I’m a big believer in getting help with the things we find difficult. I spent many years fighting with my brain, getting cross at what I perceived to be my failings, but it never really made things better. A big part in moving away from this was some training I attended a few years ago on Compassion Focussed Therapy, where for what felt like the first time, I was able to connect with a part of me that expressed self-compassion. Because of the profound effect it had on me, it has now become a core part of how I work with my clients. Being able to connect with and nurture that part of me, has allowed me to gain a much greater understanding of my own needs and how to meet them. It’s the part of me that says it’s ok to look at the tutorial, it’s ok to go to therapy, it’s ok to rest. It is the part I want to always be in charge!
How do you show yourself compassion?