What is right for you?
I’m on annual leave next week, it’s something I am to do about every eight weeks as part of my self-care. I know regular leave means that I can continue to support my clients in the way they deserve without risking heading into burnout. When I was setting up in private practice I had to really stop and think about what was right for me because it was hard not to get caught up in what I thought it ‘should’ look like. I found myself thinking that I needed to emulate the same 9-5 structure I’d had in the past, because that’s what ‘proper work’ looked like. I’d lost sight of the main reason for moving into private practice: to create a life that met my needs and shared my values.
How often in life do we find ourselves thinking that we have to do things a certain way, because that’s what we’ve always done or because it’s how everyone else does it. Sometimes it can be difficult to see that there is another way to do things, or even that we are allowed to ask the question of what would work for us. We can get caught up in societal narratives about what is worthy or has value, even when it doesn’t align with our personal values. At other times it might be the worry about how other people will respond if we start doing things differently that stops us from changing. Fear of judgement can be a powerful motivator to keep doing things the same way, even when it is not working for you.
While not all things are within our control and there is no magic wand, if we are at least aware of how we would like things to be, we can start working towards it. Sometimes this is about just being open to different opportunities that will support you or saying no to things that will take you further away from where you want to be. This can mean giving yourself time and space to check with yourself before committing to something new, to check that it will support the life you want for yourself, or that if it doesn’t it has enough benefit to you to make it worth moving away from where you want to be. Most importantly it’s about giving yourself permission to ask what is right for you and then trusting your answer.
If you were living life according to your values right now what would be different?