We carry many possibilities within us
In my teens I desperately wanted brightly coloured hair, but I was too scared to do it myself and couldn’t afford to have it done at the hairdressers. In my twenties I was too concerned with making sure other people saw me as a suitable wife and mother to allow myself to even voice the desire. In my thirties, as I went through my counsellor training and started on the journey to self-acceptance, I reconnected with the part of myself that wanted bright hair again. I started with a single slice of blue peeking out from underneath my hair. As the years went on that slice has got bigger and, now as I am about to enter my forties I have bright pink hair on top and blue underneath.
Often the journey to self-acceptance happens in lots of small ways including understanding the different parts of ourselves and their needs, accepting them (even the ones we’re not so keen on) and allowing other people to see them. The last one can feel like the hardest, because we do not know how others may respond, and therefore, there can be a high level of vulnerability attached to it. We cannot control how other people will react and a negative reaction (even if not meant that way) can make us question our self-acceptance journey.
While it is important to acknowledge the society and culture we are in, it is also important to remember that it can be flawed. This is why we focus on understanding what is important to us as individuals, to let go of the “shoulds” we carry with us. By locating our value within ourselves, rather than dependent on external validation, we are more easily able to be our true selves. When we are able to be all of who we are, suddenly new things become possible.
If I had not done the personal development work during my training and as part of my own therapy, I would not have been sat here now writing this, I would not be working for myself in a job I love, I would not have blue and pink hair. In my twenties, I would never have believed this is where I would be now, I didn’t believe I could do these things or that I could do these things, it wasn’t for me. What I know now, is that the only thing that really changed was my understanding and acceptance of myself, I have always carried the possibility within me, I just needed help to find it.
What possibilities are within you, waiting to be set free?