The Power of For Now
This might be my last lego centred post for a little while, but I’m not making any promises!
Following from last week where I talked about the ‘shoulds’ that can hold us back, I decided to challenge the one I held around how my lego should be put together. I couldn’t quite bring myself to dismantle my sets and create something completely new (although I am now allowing that as a possibility in my head), but as the sets are modular, they could be rearranged. This led to a lovely afternoon where I spent some time trying out different arrangements, before settling on one and reattaching the pieces in their new configuration.
By stepping out of my comfort zone, I was able to change my perspective and reframe what I had, to change its meaning. When I explored the different arrangements, new connections emerged and different things became possible. Because I was able to make these changes with an attitude of curiosity and playfulness, I experimented much more, knowing that I could undo any changes easily. This can also be help us to overcome our discomfort and step into a more growthful space in our own lives. A previous supervisor introduced me to ‘for now’ decisions, that rather than everything being forever and having to be perfect, it is ok to make the decision that is right now and to change your mind if it doesn’t work. This helped me to embrace the fluidity and ever-changing nature of life and stop waiting for the perfect time or place to move forward.
By changing the relationships between different parts of myself and my life, I have found new ways forward and reframed the past so it has a different impact on me. I don’t think I would have been able to do this on my own, without the support of therapists and supervisors. Sometimes you need someone on the outside to let you know it is possible to see it in a different way before you can even consider it. We can’t erase our past, but we can choose which bits are given importance and are allowed to shape our perceptions of the here and now. In counselling we can examine the different parts of ourselves and be curious about them, we can experiment with new arrangements to see how they feel and finally we can choose how we want to put them back together – for now.
What decision would you make for now?